Order and Chaos
Why both states are critical in creativity, martial arts, and life
In the realms of both creativity and martial arts, it is necessary to embrace and transition smoothly between order and chaos. The majority of the time, we need order or stasis in our lives; we need time to learn and reflect. It is hard to learn if your life is always chaotic or cluttered. However, in the midst of productive chaos, a different and equally important type of learning takes place; in past articles, I have provided examples from my filmmaking career and from my grappling journey.
Burnout gets a bad rap, but burnout is the natural result of productive chaos (aka “the grind”). We are all human, even David Goggins and other famous people with an iron will and extraordinary self-discipline. Every successful athlete, entrepreneur, or artist experiences burnout.
Periods of burnout and recovery are, as I have learned, times to find and cultivate a sense of order. If you look inside yourself, you will naturally discover what you are and what you are not. That prospect is scary because you may not like what you find, at least not initially. It may fuck with whatever delusional notions you have—but over time, you will likely discover more strength than you ever realized you had. Tapping into that reservoir of strength—the percentage of yourself that is not even being used—will not be easy or pain-free.
I should be a little more specific about how I have learned to transition from burnout into equilibrium, which then prepared me to embrace chaos again when the time was right. Let’s say you are in a period of burnout—creatively, professionally, personally, or all of the above. If you are like me and you love training jiu jitsu for its own sake (or running, lifting weights, or whatever), allow yourself to do as much of that activity as you want for the time being (i.e. while you’re burned out). Just focus on having fun and getting better at the craft.
If you are a filmmaker—perhaps mentally and financially drained from your last project—go out and shoot some improvisational footage in a visually compelling neighborhood or landscape. Allow yourself to be a beginner all over again. Learn a new technical skill that is outside your normal specialty. Your medium might be painting, photography, or music, but this same advice applies.
Finally, if you enjoy reading or journaling but have not had the time in a while, make the time now. Wake up earlier. I started waking up at 4:55 AM every day after being a late sleeper my whole life; if I can make the change, so can you. Get up before the sun so you can finally read the book that has been collecting dust on your shelf.
What I am describing is not theoretical but rather what has been proven to be effective for me. Like any advice I offer—whether it is about creativity, martial arts, or anything—take it or leave it. If you are curious, however, see how this advice might apply to your life or creative work, regardless of your specific circumstances and field.
I am interested in the connection between all of us, which is very strong despite the separation that we normally feel as we walk through the world. (I am no physicist, but I do know that a microscope will indicate that we are not separate from each other in the way that we perceive, at least not at the atomic or molecular level.)
Throughout much of my life—and sometimes still to this day—I carried around a strong sense of anger or separation, despite being drawn to practices like martial arts, Zen meditation, and yoga that are based on the principle of harmony. I had and to some extent still have the proverbial chip on my shoulder.
Occasionally, the anger or perceived separateness could be a powerful motivator. My thought process was, “To hell with anyone who wants to stand in my way or tell me I can’t do anything.” I grew up watching WWE, and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was my idol. Like Stone Cold, I was determined to raise hell and prove all of them wrong.
I am still not exactly sure who “they” or “them” were. “They” took on myriad forms at different times in my life—depending on where I was and what my insecurities were—but I am finally beginning to realize that the adversarial “they” does not exist. The reality is that no one has ever stood in my way except myself. My actor/filmmaker friend Eric Delgado made the point beautifully during a Q&A at one of his recent film festival premieres in Los Angeles: “Get out of your own way.”
Circling back to the idea of order and chaos: You need both states—or at least I do. You need some friction. Ultimately, for me, the hard and fast distinction between the two states has diminished over time. Since I moved back to New Orleans, my life has been at times chaotic but also quite calm and stable.
The 1.5 years that I spent making Film Jitsu were quite chaotic and stressful in retrospect. By around the fall of last year, I was burned out and looking to reshuffle my whole life. Still, that era was paradoxically peaceful and calm.
I felt serenity while meeting and interviewing grappling/MMA legends, while spending my mornings and nights training on the jiu jitsu mats, and even while competing. In the end, a grappling match or a roll in the gym is a microcosm of the bigger life cycle of order and chaos. If you want to win, you have to be quite comfortable in the middle of chaos—but you also have to find order or equilibrium within that chaos.